Musings for Monday

I am adding a 'play list' to my blog today. (you can turn it off.) Music has been such an inspiration for me - when I had no one to talk to, no one to play with, no one who understood - I had music, making up songs, creating my own nothingness to praise God. Nothing else would come out but praise to Him.

Our camera no longer works. In a fit, it gave up, even with brand new batteries. It was quite the show - it seemed possessed with something other than a battery and an SD card. So I am lacking in pictures, in sharing Jacob with you. I do have some pictures on my cell phone that I am trying to download.

I am so blessed to have Jacob. He loves music too! He especially loves The David Crowder Band. So, in honor of my little guy, I have added David Crowder to my play list. Number 2 is the CD in our stereo and Jacob knows how to get it going. He also loves to dance. He probably copies me. I like to jump, dance, skip and bop to music at home. He also sings when Mommie sings. And, how much better to sing praises to the King!? Maybe that is why Jacob is so happy and joyful 90% of the time. I also added Steven Curtis Chapman to the list, too. He is one of my favorites.

All of the music leads me to think about (and cry for) a few blogs about children who have passed away. Their parents are believers and their testimony is beautiful. Lately, I have forgotten that Jacob is not mine to keep. I pray that I can have him as long as possible because i do not want to know the pain of losing him. I have other worldly tendencies right now that God is working on, too. But, to live with complete abandon in or out of the pain or desert is difficult. To sing, to open up without words, your spirit cries to God in sweet melodies. He hears them and makes all things new. So, daily, I cry out to God that He would have grace and mercy on Jacob, that He will choose to call out to Jacob, to turn Jacob's heart to God in the most beautiful way. I am in no way perfect. I am lacking in perfection in Christ, but I never give up knowing that God has saved me, that He called to me and changed me. I cannot fathom what it feels like to carry a baby to term, and loose that child. I have seen that grieve first hand. All I can do is weep with that mom. All I can do is know that God is God, and even though I do not understand, He does.

So, here is to a bright Monday filled with beautiful music and praises to my King. I will try to get pictures soon. And, I am working on a post with giveaways...stay tuned! I have only a short window before the little one awakens and I have a long list of 'to-do' today.
Suz