Okay, so my last past was kind crazy. Just so you know we found a color. In the past week we had Jacob's birthday and party, our computer caught something and had to go to the doctor, and I got a huge attitude adjustment. Justin and I fought really hard this weekend - all weekend. It was good since we were able to really say somethings. In the end, I spent Sunday morning on the floor of my closet asking God for forgiveness for some ways that I have affected my family. I didn't feel like the barrier had passed away between God and my sin, so, in next to nothing, I stood in the dark closest, lifted my hand to God and just praised Him for all He has and will do. It made me focus back on God and realize He is in control. He made me. He knows my story, and knew it before I was created. He created us for this time and place. I do not need to be anxious - God says that. I can see why. Anxiety breeds so many other things - discontentment, fear, hate. I also am not tied to who I was because of God's forgiveness.

In the end, we love our parents but discovered that we do not have to recycle our parent's mistakes in our marriage and rearing of our children. One thing we have acted out in our marriage is talking harshly to each other. We both identified where we learned it or what makes us respond to it. In the end, it was dramatic. And, we settled our differences, trusting God for why we are here and about our new baby.

Thank you for your comments and support. Justin's Aunt was so wonderful to write me a letter of encouragement. She called last night too to see if I was feeling better. I like what she said she does at times. She thinks, "What is the bare minimum I can do right now." What is the bare minimum I can do right now to give my home a warmer feel? I am going to focus on photo frames for our family pictures. We have no pictures up, and I have a huge blank wall that needs some loving.

So, that is it. MY attitude has been adjusted so now I can see colors more clearly. What a wonderful day!

Please pray for us as we have our 36-37 week sono tomorrow!!! I will post details tomorrow too.

Have a great day!!!!
Susan